Being Dumped by a Job

Just over a year ago, I had an experience that I'd never had before and that I didn't see coming. I lost my job. It was a job I had loved for 10 years and being told that my position was being eliminated was an absolute shock. How am I doing now that a year has gone by? That depends on when you ask me.

Although I took the news well initially, I eventually struggled with it in some interesting ways. The closest scenario I could compare it to is that of being dumped by a boyfriend. The sting of rejection. Trying to figure out how to define yourself without that relationship/job. A sense of betrayal as you wonder what went into the decision and how long the decision was in the making. The heartache of remembering the good times and almost feeling guilty for having any good feelings. The constant temptation to dwell on every ugly, unhappy, or bad thing you can conjure up about the job or employer. And a lingering hope that you'll wake up and it was all a dream or that they'll call and beg you to come back.

Well, nobody called to stay they were wrong to let me go. No news has come out that they totally fell apart without me there. I am now ancient history and I have to cope with it. Originally I thought I would still do volunteer work and stay connected somehow with my former employer. For the first events to come along, they were the ones to push me away. They said it was to help me focus on finding a new job. Later, after I found a new job, things really didn't change and I had lost that drive to be involved since I felt unwanted.

My life has moved forward and I'm busier than ever with my new job. Even though I stay in contact with a few former coworkers (via Facebook), I miss the relationships I had in that old job. It's hard to explain, but there were people that seemed more like an older brother or cool aunt than a supervisor or coworker and I find myself wishing I could get their advice on things. Just like with a bad breakup, I tested those waters and didn't get good results.

Learning to move on and put the past behind me has made me more cautious about thinking of any job or situation as permanent. When my parents were working, most people stayed in their jobs until retirement. Once you found your career, you stuck with it and the job usually stuck with you unless you did something awful. Times have changed and people change jobs all the time. My goal from this point on is to have any job changes be my decision and not another surprise.

I do appreciate all my friends and family members who have put up with this rollercoaster of emotions and helped me see my value. Let's hope I don't have to face another adventure like this any time soon.