How Do You Feel About Mother's Day?

Dad and Mom with me and my sister, Kathy

I'm not a fan of Mother's Day. It's one of the most depressing days for me. I miss my own mom terribly and she was the only reason I ever cared about Mother's Day. It's also tough not to think of my own inadequacies as a mom. The commercialization of the holiday certainly doesn't help. "If you love your mom, you'll get her diamonds," seems to be the message. I don't think I'm the only mom who doesn't want gifts given out of a sense of obligation or guilt.

One of the things that impressed me with my mom was that she kept the macaroni necklace I made her in the same jewelry box as her pearls and other fine jewelry. She valued the noodles and Cracker Jack charms strung especially for her by her daughter much more than anything purchased from a store.

My husband & sons celebrate my bachelor's degree

My favorite Mother's Day as a mom was in the last couple of years when my sons gave me handmade cards. Each card showed the personality of the one who made it. They are some of my most prized possessions now.

All a mom really wants is to know that she did okay and that she's loved. We worry about being too strict or too lenient, caring too much or not enough, and on and on. When your kids get to their teenage years, they tell you how unfair or mean you are, that you don't understand them or that you're never there for them. That transition from having kids who adore you and can't live without you to having your kids push you away can be heartbreaking. It sure was for me.

My own ability to truly appreciate my mom and apologize for the stupidity of my youth came after I had children of my own. I'm so glad I had a chance to tell her I was sorry and to show her that I loved her. One of the things that keeps me going right now is knowing that my time will come with my own children.

Taking our youngest son to the MTC

This week I had one of the toughest experiences a mom can go through. We belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and many of the boys in our faith choose to serve a two-year mission when they are around 19 years-old. My youngest son decided to serve a mission. He is 20 and was called to serve in Texas. We delivered him to the Missionary Training Center (MTC) on Wednesday and we won't see him again for 24 months. Our only communication will be through writing letters and he only has one day a week for letter writing. Short phone calls come at Christmas and on Mother's Day (except while in the MTC). Even though it's a very rewarding experience and many blessings come to the missionary and his family, it's hard to be out of touch with your child - especially in this modern day of instant communication. No more text messages, Facebook posts, or phone calls. I have to wait for that once a week letter in the mail.  While we are amazed at our son's commitment to faith and willingness to sacrifice two years of his life to serving God, we will worry about not being there to protect him or help him when he needs it. But who am I to deny my child this amazing opportunity? My sadness is overcome by how pleased I am in my son's decision. Mother's Day will definitely be different this year, but maybe that's a good thing.