Walgreen's Almost Killed My Husband

If you have any sort of medical condition that requires regular prescription medication, you've probably fallen into the same rut we have. You pick up your prescriptions and start filling your little pill minder so you remember to take those daily meds. Do you read the label on your prescriptions every time you refill them? 

We made a horrifying discovery in September as we went to refill one of my husband's medications. I have a cute little app on my iPhone that lets me scan in the refills - quick, easy, painless.  When we went to pick up the medication, one prescription was missing.  They said they didn't receive the refill request.  After a brief wait, the missing prescription was refilled and we went home. As my hubby looked over his prescription bottles, he noticed that the one we had the refill glitch with was a prescription for someone else. Instead of his crucial diabetes medication, we discovered he had been taking a prescription analgesic over the past month. 

How on earth did someone else's prescription end up in our possession? Our local Walgreens bags multiple prescriptions for the same person after they are filled/refilled and then place the bag on the shelf until the patient comes to pick it up. When you show up to claim your medications, the pharmacy tech finds the bag with your name on it, processes your insurance and payment, and then hands it over. The bags are stapled shut with the information and receipt stapled to the front and nobody bothers to doublecheck the contents.

We immediately returned to Walgreens and asked to talk to the pharmacist. This was a huge error! My husband was without a crucial medication for a month, putting his life in danger.  In addition, some person out there had been given a medication that would lower her blood sugar and could have killed her.  The pharmacist took the prescription bottle from us and promised us that the head pharmacist (Jeremy) would research the situation and would contact us.  Someone named David called from Walgreens on September 30 to ask a few more questions and to say that Jeremy would contact us.  Unfortunately, that was the last we heard from "The Pharmacy America Trusts."

A pharmacy error endangered the lives of two different people and Walgreens has done nothing about it. Did they even fill out the required paperwork?  Did they try to contact the person who received my husband's prescription? We, along with our insurance, paid for a medication that was never received.  Isn't that fraud?  

I wasn't going to blog about the situation, but I think it's important for you all to be aware of the kind of dangers that exist in some of the most everyday activities. Do you trust your pharmacy?  Are you reading your medication labels?  Don't let this happen to you!

Cooking Up Some Fun

Dyllen models the same apron

Spirit Bead in her apron

 One of the cool things about blogging is that sometimes you get to sample products and tell people what you think about them.  Grandway recently offered me an opportunity to review the most adorable apron.

You would probably think that by my age I would be a decent cook. Wrong!  My mom was an amazing cook and could make the most wonderful dishes. Part of that may have been due to my dad's constant demand of high quality food. He grew up in a large family and they kept everyone fed with simple foods and lots of bread to help fill everyone up. Dad ended up rejecting foods that reminded him of his childhood and it was fairly common for our family to eat dinner around 10 p.m. since Mom worked full time and the fancier recipes took considerable time to prepare. I learned how to make a few minor dishes, but never learned to cook at my mom's level.  Want coleslaw or chocolate chip cookies? I'm your girl!

My cooking disasters are legendary and my kids practically have anxiety attacks when I say I'm trying something new in the kitchen. Just when I was getting pretty good at baking desserts, my dear husband was diagnosed with diabetes. In an interesting twist of irony both of our sons have ended up cooking professionally.  I'm going to take credit for their talent since I'm certain my cooking inspired them to learn how to do it "right."

Wearing the apron from Grandway was so exciting. It made me feel like I could actually cook! I even decided to try making candied yams without using a can opener. The results were mixed.  I didn't have enough sweet potatoes, so the sugary sauce was overly abundant. The marshmallows on top looked so amazing when I pulled the pan out of the oven.  Unfortunately, they deflated and nearly disappeared as the dish cooled down. Our extended family thought the extra "sauce" was perfect for dipping the Christmas ham into as we ate.  I love my family for finding the silver lining to my culinary catastrophies!

I recruited Dyllen, our youngest son's girlfriend, to show how the apron looks for the average sized woman.  Want an awesome apron for yourself?  I will be drawing the name of one lucky reader to receive The Lindy apron. To enter, leave a comment about your cooking memories here on this post. For a second entry, go to my post about this apron on Surviving the Etsy Madness and leave a comment there.  The drawing will be January 5, 2013.

**Disclaimer - Grandway provided me with the apron pictured in exchange for writing a review of it and sent an extra apron to give to one of my readers.  All the opinions expressed are completely my own.

The apron winner is posted on Surviving the Etsy Madness.

The Commute Gets Some New Options

There are so many things I love about my job, but the commute isn't one of them. My office is 50 miles from my house and about 90% of the journey is on the freeway. Why then does it take me 90 minutes to get to work and 90 minutes to two hours to get home?  The speed limit is 65, but traffic often crawls at 10-30 mph, especially at the bottlenecks and usual spots for wrecks.

When I first started working in Salt Lake City, I considered taking the bus to work. Unfortunately, using mass transit would have taken more than 2.5 hours. My days are long enough without adding 5 hours for the commute each day! There may finally be answer on the horizon, however.

FRONTRUNNER arrives in Provo! This is Utah's first commuter rail line and the first section connected Ogden to Salt Lake City. The section connecting Salt Lake City to Provo was completed a few months ago, but the testing and training is now done and Frontrunner service to Provo will begin on Monday, December 10. I've been watching the trains zooming along the tracks and wishing I could take a ride. This last Sunday, my wish came true.

My family and I boarded Frontrunner at the Provo station. There were lots of seats and we loved that we could sit on the main level of the car or upstairs. We chose to ride upstairs and Dyllen was even brave enough to sit facing backwards.

Dyllen and Dexter

Roughly half of the seating sections had a small table. There are even electrical outlets under those tables. Perfect for doing a little work on your computer or watching a movie!

Dwayne (hidden from view) watches movies with his dad

Dwayne watched movies while doing some origami. He even sat there and ate dinner at his little table on the return trip, but I don't think they would normally allow that.

Our trip was in the evening and we were a little disappointed that it was so difficult to see out the windows. I'm guessing that the view is a little better in the daylight hours, but the tinting on the windows is very reflective at night. You'd have to turn off the lights in the passenger car to eliminate the reflection.

Upon reaching the Salt Lake City station, we walked over to the waiting area for Trax and hopped aboard to go see the lights at Temple Square. We were in the free fare zone and the green Trax line took us to The Gateway Mall, Energy Solutions Arena, Temple Square, and City Creek.  One word of caution if you've never ridden a subway or commuter rail before - trains only stop for 30 seconds and you need to be ready to get on or off the train quickly. You can stop the doors from closing, but it takes some serious effort. I had to run interference to get Dyllen off the train without suffering any damage.

 It was so nice to arrive in Salt Lake City relaxed and ready to go. No stop-and-go traffic. No traffic jams. No parking hassles.  I worked on some tatting along the way and felt so good about accomplishing something.

The ride is pretty smooth although there are some minor lurches as you take off from each station. Between the smoothness of the ride and the gentle swaying of the train, Dexter managed to fall asleep on the ride home. I'm just glad it was him and not me since I would hate to be caught snoring in public.

I'm so excited about having another option for getting to and from work. Figuring out the way to connect from the train station to my office may be a challenge though. We will see...  I just loved feeling relaxed instead of stressed out after traveling between Provo and Salt Lake City.

Bike racks

If you want to take a preview ride, UTA is allowing people to ride Frontrunner this Saturday, December 8, if you bring a donation for the food bank. Check it out!

The Joy of Handmade Christmas Ornaments

2011 Christmas Lantern

One of the conversations I seem to have with my sister year after year is about what to do for Christmas. My side of the family has tried a variety of things over the years. We started without an overall plan and then we tried drawing names for gifts. I set up a rotating schedule to show which family was sending gifts to each family. Right now we are back to just doing what we can.

When I look back at my favorite Christmas gifts received, my sister's handmade ornaments top the list. She used to include an ornament or two that she made for us when sending the Christmas gifts. Those ornaments are carefully boxed and I enjoy personally placing each one of them on the tree each year. I couldn't tell you what gifts we received each of those years, but the ornaments keep giving to us year after year.

Tatted ornaments I made for an exchange

Part of the fun is that someone cared enough to make something for me. The other part of the fun is receiving something that I wouldn't/couldn't make myself. Inspired by my sister's example, I have joined ornament exchanges and have given ornaments as gifts in the workplace. One of my dear friends surprised me by turning the ornament I made her into a necklace. It was a tiny glass ball ornament that I had tatted over (like the one pictured here) and she added it to a neck cord.

Last year, my dear hubby put in some long hours designing and making Christmas lanterns for his fellow teachers. I enjoyed watching him figure out how to make the lanterns look like the vision in his head. He added battery operated tea lights, a wreath, and a bow. They were amazing! He mentioned to me this last week that once Thanksgiving was over, his coworkers had their little lanterns back out on their desks.

Tatted ornaments I received in an exchange

These are the truly personal gifts of Christmas. I know that not every ornament I made will be the perfect fit for every person's tree, but I know that they understand the sentiment behind it and will find a special place for it.

Here are my personal top 10 Christmas Ornaments:

1. Nativity scene in an ornament made from a hollowed out egg (one of only 3 ornaments made by my mom)
2. Hand-painted glass ornament with a picture of Santa and the names of each person in our family (made by my sister)
3. Fishing boat ornament that was part of a set we used to decorate a tree in my mom's memory for Festival of Trees
4. The baby's first Christmas ornaments for each of my kids
5. Tatted ornaments received in ornament exchanges
6. Tiny frosted angels playing musical instruments (we had these when I was growing up and I don't know what happened to them after I moved out)
7. Ornament made by one of my sons with his photo glued to an orange juice can lid
8. Crocheted snowflake ornaments that belonged to my mom
9. The chocolate ornaments we used to have on the tree as kids (we were allowed to each one each night)
10. Set of Native American made ornaments (hand crafted by students)

 What ornaments have special memories for you?

Don't Ruin My Night Out!

Things sure have changed! I find myself sounding like some miserable little old lady most days because society seems to have lost touch with polite social etiquette. The lessons my parents and grandparents taught me helped me to get along well in public, but I'm beginning to think that modern parents aren't teaching these lessons anymore.

The hubby and I went out to dinner one night and we ended up seated next to a larger table with an entire family. Their baby was in a baby carrier propped up in a high chair and soon the poor little thing was crying. I understand that babies cry, but there should be an effort made to get them to stop.

When I had my first baby, my mom and grandma took me out to eat at a restaurant and I had to deal with the baby crying in public dilemma. Not wanting to disturb the other diners, I stepped out with my precious son to try to calm him down. He just wouldn't stop crying and we ended up sitting in the car until Mom and Grandma were finished eating. They brought me a box with my leftover food and reassured me that I did the right thing. Was it an inconvenience for me? YES. But I was the one who gambled on eating out with a newborn. It was up to me to be the one to sacrifice if things didn't work out. My husband made his fair share of sacrifices with babies and was usually the one to leave the movie theater when one got noisey.

The baby we encountered in the restaurant recently cried for a good 15 minutes before they did anything. We're running into this in more and more places where people insist on bringing babies and rowdy children and are offended when you suggest they control their children or leave them home with a babysitter. If we spend our hard-earned money on going out to dinner or out to a movie, we don't want to be interrupted by screaming and crying. Maybe we need to have some restaurants and theaters with "child-free" nights.

I remember a woman at church asking me how I was able to keep my children so quiet during church services. I told her, "We don't bring toys for the kids to play with. They can have books or paper (to draw on) and they're expected to act like they're in church."  We had learned by watching other families that a child will provide noise for even the quietest of toys. I've listened to the cries of children who begged their parents for treats and watched as they trained their parents to give them what they wanted in exchange for temporary silence. Some parents even get trained to take their children out into the foyer to play every time they get noisy. By comparison, our children learned quickly that if we took them out to the foyer, they would end up sitting quietly on our laps (being hugged really tight) until they were ready to return to the meeting.

We rarely get to go out as a couple, so we appreciate those of you being parents instead of letting your children run your lives. We'll enjoy our marriage more if we can have fun date nights without the screaming babies. Thank you!

Work Craziness

I've been on a bit of a roller coaster at work recently. Don't get me wrong; I still LOVE my job. I just had no idea that organizing some of our smaller Walk MS events would prove to be so adventurous. We still have five of these very important fundraisers left in 2012. Two are in Utah and the other three are in Southern Idaho. One of the walks is in October, but the other four walks are on the same day in September. Just keeping up with registrations and sending out weekly email keeps me pretty busy.

Over the last month, we hit some obstacles with one event. The coordinator who was organizing the event in that area resigned. With another coordinator in place, we discovered that the park where we were holding the event was being used by two other events on the day we needed it. After some panicking and a frantic round of phone calls, we were able to reserve a park nearby and we began the process of announcing the new event location. I think I relaxed too soon, because we then got a phone call denying our special event permit since our walk route overlaps one of the other events at the park next door. Thankfully, the walk coordinator was able to work things out.

The other walks have had their bumps in the road, too. Add in budgeting for next year and packing to move to a new office, and it gets even more intense. This is our last week in the current office. To add to the adventure, we will be moving from walled offices to a cubicle environment.

Fortunately, I absolutely adore my job and they seem to want to keep me around. That, and knowing that the work I do helps people, helps me stay motivated. Smiles, everyone. Smiles!

Do You Have a Bucket List?

In case you're not familiar with the term, a bucket list is a list of things to do before you die (kick the bucket). I see it as a great way to set some goals for your life. In my opinion, they don't have to be limited to things that are 100% realistic. You have a wonderful opportunity to dream big and fill your list with some grand ideas. We did something similar as kids when we would make our Christmas lists. My sister and I would sit down with the Sears, JC Penney, or Montgomery Ward catalog and go a little crazy making one heck of a wish list. We had reasonable items on the list, but we couldn't resist adding stuff we knew we would never get - a stereo, a car, etc.

With all my extra time driving to and from my job, I've been thinking about some of the things I'd still like to do before I die. This blog now has a new page so I can keep writing my own bucket list - take a look.

How Do You Feel About Mother's Day?

Dad and Mom with me and my sister, Kathy

I'm not a fan of Mother's Day. It's one of the most depressing days for me. I miss my own mom terribly and she was the only reason I ever cared about Mother's Day. It's also tough not to think of my own inadequacies as a mom. The commercialization of the holiday certainly doesn't help. "If you love your mom, you'll get her diamonds," seems to be the message. I don't think I'm the only mom who doesn't want gifts given out of a sense of obligation or guilt.

One of the things that impressed me with my mom was that she kept the macaroni necklace I made her in the same jewelry box as her pearls and other fine jewelry. She valued the noodles and Cracker Jack charms strung especially for her by her daughter much more than anything purchased from a store.

My husband & sons celebrate my bachelor's degree

My favorite Mother's Day as a mom was in the last couple of years when my sons gave me handmade cards. Each card showed the personality of the one who made it. They are some of my most prized possessions now.

All a mom really wants is to know that she did okay and that she's loved. We worry about being too strict or too lenient, caring too much or not enough, and on and on. When your kids get to their teenage years, they tell you how unfair or mean you are, that you don't understand them or that you're never there for them. That transition from having kids who adore you and can't live without you to having your kids push you away can be heartbreaking. It sure was for me.

My own ability to truly appreciate my mom and apologize for the stupidity of my youth came after I had children of my own. I'm so glad I had a chance to tell her I was sorry and to show her that I loved her. One of the things that keeps me going right now is knowing that my time will come with my own children.

Taking our youngest son to the MTC

This week I had one of the toughest experiences a mom can go through. We belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and many of the boys in our faith choose to serve a two-year mission when they are around 19 years-old. My youngest son decided to serve a mission. He is 20 and was called to serve in Texas. We delivered him to the Missionary Training Center (MTC) on Wednesday and we won't see him again for 24 months. Our only communication will be through writing letters and he only has one day a week for letter writing. Short phone calls come at Christmas and on Mother's Day (except while in the MTC). Even though it's a very rewarding experience and many blessings come to the missionary and his family, it's hard to be out of touch with your child - especially in this modern day of instant communication. No more text messages, Facebook posts, or phone calls. I have to wait for that once a week letter in the mail.  While we are amazed at our son's commitment to faith and willingness to sacrifice two years of his life to serving God, we will worry about not being there to protect him or help him when he needs it. But who am I to deny my child this amazing opportunity? My sadness is overcome by how pleased I am in my son's decision. Mother's Day will definitely be different this year, but maybe that's a good thing.

My New Best Friend is a Suitcase

When I first heard the name Swany Walkin'Bag, I thought they made an odd choice in picking out a name for some luggage. It all made sense once I experienced the Walkin'Bag for myself.  Designed by a Japanese CEO who was a polio survivor, this is more than a rolling suitcase. Etsuo Miyoshi needed a bag that was light, easy to maneuver, and that he could literally lean on for support. With two of these suitcases, he could lean on the extended handles and use them like crutches.

Fortuno

Despite the great success of these bags, the downturn in the economy and then supply problems resulting from the Japanese earthquake and tsunami last year led Swany to close their operations in the United States.  It's a real shame since these are really amazing bags/suitcases. They're offering my readers an amazing price on their remaining bags.

Although the original Walkin'Bag had more of a traditional suitcase look, the more recent versions more closely resemble fashionable tote bags. You'll want to use it for work, going to games and events, family events, and more.

Fortuno, with seat

Here is why it's so awesome:

• 360-degree swivel wheels – swivels forwards, backwards and sideways
• A handle that adjusts to five different levels to accommodate your height
• A handle with a patented curve so that it can support up to 250 pounds. Anyone can literally lean on it for support.
• Several of the bag styles have a built-in, retractable seat that will hold more than 300 pounds 
• Most bags weigh less than 6 pounds and are designed to fit under most airline seats in order to eliminate having to lift them into airplane overhead compartments.
• Walkin'Bags are designed to be pushed along at your side rather than dragging behind you.

I've been using one for work and it's so much easier to use than any other bag I've had. Walking with it by my side took some getting used to, but I appreciate not having to drag something behind me. Extendable handles usually don't go tall enough for me, but this one will even to higher than I need it.  The bag can even come off the frame quickly and easily in case you want to use it on its own.

Swivel wheels are so much fun! They remind me of the shopping carts at IKEA.  The bag maneuvers easily and you can even play games like trying to aim it at a target - suitcase bowling, anyone?  The seat on the model I have folds down and even someone my size can sit on it. Great for standing in line or when you run out of  seats somewhere. It also makes a great table for using your laptop so you don't have to balance it on your lap.

ZipCart2

Because the company has called it quits, they need to sell the rest of their inventory by the end of March. Only three styles of bags are left, but you can get them for 50% off (half price) and they are shipping them for FREE.

• Fortuno bag, no seat (extra pocket instead)
• Fortuno bag, with seat
• ZipCart2

The links will take you to the order page with the discount code already built in. Wouldn't you like to make your life a little easier? Maybe there's someone in your life who could use a suitcase that doubles as a seat and a walking aid. You won't regret it!

Hitting the Ground Running

Today was my first day at my new job. This was also my first day commuting to work. It ended up being one of the worst commutes anyone could remember with at least four accidents I was aware of on my route plus road construction limiting the number of lanes available. Even though the accidents were cleared away by the time I drove by, the slowdowns seemed eternal! It took me 40 minutes to go the first 20 miles and an hour to go the final 20 miles.

I was pleasantly surprised to find welcome signs posted around the office when I got there and my new boss had quite a schedule planned out for me to get oriented to the National MS Society, our Utah-Southern Idaho Chapter, our upcoming events, and finding my way around the computer.

It's nice to have an office again. I admit that I'm somewhat intimidated being the new person on the block instead of being a veteran. The phone even freaked me out some so I'm glad they gave me an instruction manual.  The offices are arranged in an interesting pattern and my first trip to the restroom left me nervous I might get lost. All went well and I made my way there and back.

They took me out to lunch at Pizzeria Limone, a very interesting place with fairly authentic Italian style pizza.  They also had a Coca-Cola Freestyle machine. It's just the best drink invention ever! It has every possible Coca-Cola brand beverage and even offers some fun twists. One machine - over 100 possible drink combinations.  I tried Diet Coke Raspberry and Sprite Zero Peach. I'm hooked!

It's so nice to be wanted to to have lots to do again. Everyone noticed my lovely orange jewelry that my friends gave me. Only six weeks until our big MS Walk and I'm in charge of it (no pressure). Once I get the hang of things, I will need to charge full steam ahead and get more people rounded up for the MS Walk as well as bringing in more donations.

I've loved all the support of friends and family during my job search. You kept me going!

Tomorrow is My Big Day

So much has been going on in my life lately and I haven't had a chance to catch up.  The biggest news is that I have a new job!  I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful it is to be wanted again.

Starting March 20th, I will be the Fundraising Coordinator for the Utah-Southern Idaho Chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. While searching for a new job, I wasn't sure I would end up in fundraising work again. The way I see it, fundraising for a cause you don't believe in is really sales, not fundraising. Maybe you think it's more important to find a job, any job, than to be picky about who you work for. I don't think it's worth wasting your life on a job you can't stand. Sure, I've had jobs that I eventually hated, but there were parts of the job I enjoyed and it took time to stop liking the job completely. 

Family photo just before Mom's diagnosis

Multiple sclerosis (MS) is a cause I can support with every fiber of my being.  My mom was diagnosed with MS after giving birth to my youngest brother. For over 25 years, she gradually lost nerve connections and lost feeling in her legs, went blind in one eye, periodically lost her sight altogether, lost her ability to walk, and eventually lost her life.  MS doesn't kill...it cripples. The mom who taught me how to do The Twist and used to do marathon shopping for Christmas eventually was unable to work and had to have constant help once she ended up in a wheelchair. A simple procedure led to a horrible staph infection and that resulted in needing her heart valve to be replaced. As she recovered from all of that, the MS kicked into high gear and her body started shutting down. I barely found out in time to see her before she passed away.

Even now I have wonderful friends who have been diagnosed with MS and see how they struggle to make good use of their minds while their bodies are falling apart. So much great research is happening and improvements continue to be made. My new job gives me a chance to give hope to so many people like my mom.

The toughest thing today was seeing a post on my former employer's blog about the new Development Director. It brought back the sting of having my job eliminated in order to make room for that job. It was also hard to deal with that outcome after seeing the photo. Surely I present myself more professionally than that guy (or maybe I should have started wearing bow ties). Of course I've managed to torture myself by finding out more and seeing that he had fewer years of experience (but he's in the middle of getting his master's degree). I see now why it's really bad to look backwards - IT HURTS!  Time to face forward and embrace my new adventure.

White Chick Tacos for Navajos

I married into the Navajo culture, but I had some familiarity with Native American culture before that. My mom used to make Navajo tacos when I was a kid and I loved to eat the leftover frybread with butter and sugar on it. After I got married, I found out that what my mom made was more like scones.  Scones usually use yeast and are more dessert-like in taste. Frybread uses baking powder (no yeast) and has a more salt and flour taste. Now that I've had the real thing, there's no going back.

I tried for years how to make decent frybread. It was a good dozen years into my marriage before a Navajo friend walked me through it, step by step. She helped me understand the way the dough should feel and how much of it is technique more than recipe. My frybread finally tasted great, but I couldn't get the shape right.

A piece of Navajo frybread is often as big or bigger than your plate. It looks beautifully circular and uniform in thickness. Navajos aren't the only tribe to make frybread. Pretty much every tribe has its own version and I remember a near-riot at a small powwow in Salt Lake City when some Sho-Ban (Shoshone-Bannock) women were selling frybread. Their version is called bannock and it's closer to a sopapilla than Navajo frybread. Things got ugly fast. White chick frybread is my specialty and it can come in all shapes and sizes. Lumpy and bumpy, oblong and even square at times, don't be surprised if you get a piece with a hole (or two or three) in it.

It's not that I CAN'T make it look good. I could use a rolling pin to make it nicer and more uniform, but that just seems like cheating. The great frybread makers are called "slappers" since they slap the dough back and forth from hand to hand. It's a lot like tossing pizza dough. During this process, the dough smooths out and stretches out. Instead of being a slapper, I am a dropper. Gifted with no real coordination, I seem to have no ability to get the dough from one hand to the other without hitting the floor first.

Around this part of the country, we run into Navajo taco or Indian taco booths at every festival or fair. If we don't see a Navajo back there cooking, we usually pass them up. There's a definite difference in taste.  Taco toppings have become more uniform, but on the rez (the reservation), you're more likely to get beans instead of chile with beans. For the frybread on its own, Navajos like it with salt while the non-Natives tend to go for the honey butter.

I was always fine with my White Chick frybread and tacos until today. My baby boy (okay, he's 19 and not a baby anymore) just outdid me. That is some amazing frybread made by real Navajo hands. So beautiful it just brings tears to my eyes.

Things You Can't UnSee

The title of this post came from a TV segment on Web Soup where they show videos that are so disturbing they will haunt you forever. I immediately thought of it as I read an article on how Facebook keeps objectionable content off their website. It seems they rely on low cost labor in other countries to scan for prohibited content. The article talks about how difficult it has been to keep employees because of the types of things they are looking at. I've experienced that and how impossible it is to erase those things from your mind.

When I was pregnant with my first kid, I started working for a press clipping service. My job was to quickly look through magazines and newspapers to find things our clients wanted. For example, a music group might want to receive copies of their concert reviews or a company could be looking for people infringing on their copyrights. Public relations agencies also like to show proof to their clients of where the press releases are running. At one point, I was assigned to what was considered one of the most productive category of publications - entertainment and alternative. This was a big deal since we had quotas to meet. Alternative included a wide variety of publications catering to various cultures - drugs, piercing, tattoos, homosexuality, nudity, etc. If you think you can imagine the things I had to read or the images I saw, multiply it by at least 10.

After a steady diet of these alternative publications during my 40 hour week, my brain was fully stocked with every conceivable obscenity and a lifetime of images that I still can't get out of my head. The worst one didn't even involve nudity, but the fact I couldn't clear my mind of it led me to ask for a different assignment. It was an advertisement for a tattoo and piercing parlor and there were two people standing face to face. Both people were sticking their tongues out and there was a metal ring connecting their pierced tongues together. I kept imagining how painful it would be if somebody tried to swallow or lost their balance. It became something I couldn't unsee.

We all get told at some point in our lives about things we shouldn't look at. Whether it came from your parents, grandparents, teachers, or church, you probably wondered just a little about how dangerous it could actually be. Wouldn't you just forget the ugliness? Seeing it for just a few seconds wouldn't change you, would it? I can tell you that it doesn't just go away. Even the obscenities you hear in music and speech come flooding back to you at the most inopportune moments. It's just not worth it. I try hard to keep control of my thoughts and language and it bugs me to have those things pop back into my head so easily.

You'll never see him the same way again

I'm not going to share any of those ugly images with you, but I can still make my point with some less objectionable, yet unforgettable pictures.

Yep, you'll always notice that from now on.

The Challenge of Minorities in Films

Viola Davis in "The Help"

Although I didn't actually watch the Oscars, I took notice of the tweets and status updates of those who were watching. I was so excited that Octavia Spencer won an Oscar for her role as Minnie in "The Help." That movie was absolutely amazing! I was fortunate as a child that my dad often talked about other ethnicities and how they were treated where he grew up in California. Without his influence, I probably wouldn't have ended up with my husband and working with so many wonderful groups. As I watched "The Help," it helped me see what he had described and yet it went beyond the expected.

When I heard that some in the Black community took offense at the film, I was baffled. They claimed that the roles portrayed by the Black actors were a step backwards for Black people. --Side note-- I prefer to use the term "Black" rather than "African American" because not all Black people are of African descent. -- I was surprised by their perception of the film since what I saw was completely different. Yes, the film showed the limits imposed on Blacks in that time period and how they were treated in such an undignified way. What impressed me was that it went beyond all that and showed how they coped with what life had dealt them - the pride in doing their jobs well, joking and telling stories with each other in private, and the tears of sorrow from being stepped on. Seeing the story from the point of view of "the help" was incredibly enlightening!

I had similar thoughts years ago when we had a chance to be extras in a Native American film. While waiting to film one day, I read the script and got a better idea of the direction the movie was going. By the time the movie opened at the Sundance Film Festival, editing had changed the direction quite a bit. Fortunately, it was for the better. But while Native Americans enjoyed the movie, I noticed that others didn't seem to get it. Say "Native American" and audiences expect to see "Dances With Wolves." They were completely unprepared to see things from a Native's point of view instead of through the White person's eyes. The humor in the film that appealed to those of us in the Native community just didn't resonate with the others in the audience. "Christmas in the Clouds" probably doesn't ring a bell for anyone who wasn't in the film, but I will always appreciate the filmmakers for the attempt.

The reality is that not everyone is interested in seeing life through someone else's eyes. That's one area where I feel particularly blessed because I want to know what other people are experiencing and how they live their lives. Even in the workplace I find myself asking people about the details of their jobs so I can understand the bigger picture and how we all work together. Open your eyes, minds, and hearts to everyone around you and to experiences different than your own and you may find your own life more fulfilling in the end.

You is kind. You is smart. You is important.

If Today Had Been A Checklist

I'm a chronic list maker and as I come to the end of this day I can't help reflecting on everything in the form of a checklist.

• Wake up
• Let the dogs out
• Email final interview answer to National MS Society's local chapter (wish me luck!)
• Check email
• Look for job listings on at least a dozen sites
• Log into LinkedIn to see message from former coworker offering me assistance with my job search
• Read CaringBridge journal entry by my former UVU professor who has cancer, has lasted four years longer than predicted, but has reached the end of his latest round of treatment with an unhappy prognosis
• Receive phone call from dear friend and former coworker and, in the process of updating her on the latest, get all pessimistic and negative
• Chat with another former coworker on Facebook, still negative about my situation
• Fix lunch - bologna sandwich
• Visit from a friend, managing to smile finally
• Check email in hopes of a job - no luck
• Walk over to Thimbles & Threads to visit with another friend, managing finally to get myself into a better mood
• Walk home and start fixing dinner
• Walk over to the church and help with weekly cleaning effort
• Head home
• Call the friend I talked to this morning to apologize for my negativity

When I looked back at my day, I felt bad about being so negative. I don't want to push my friends away, but I seem to just unload when I get a chance to talk to someone. On the positive side, I'm still making good connections, still in the running for an awesome job, and I got some walking in. I was also able to give back to my church and that felt good. When you're feeling the most empty and the most down, that is the best time to volunteer to help others. Focusing on something besides your own troubles is crucial to finding joy in life again.

Act of Valor

My hubby is a man who loves to go to the movies. I'm not exactly sure why he likes it so much, but he does. He will often ask me if I want to go with him. Unless it's a movie I really want to see, I tend to feel like it's wasted money and I tell him "no." The look of disappointment on his face always makes me feel bad. This weekend, he tried a new tactic. "Want to go get popcorn with me?" he asked. This time I just couldn't turn him down.

We went to see "Act of Valor." It's a movie that incorporates real Navy Seals doing the type of work they do, but fictionalized to protect national security. There are actors in the movie, but real Navy Seals (identified only by first names) play the roles of the Navy Seals.

Part of my interest in this movie was because one of my brothers is in the Air Force. When he was deployed to Afghanistan for six months, I spent every day wondering how he was doing. He kept us as updated as he could and I learned that the view from inside the military efforts was wildly different from what we hear in media reports.

I underestimated the emotional impact of this movie. Maybe it was just because of my connection to the military. Still, I heard a lot of sniffles around the end of the movie and it wasn't just the ladies getting emotional.  For those who like to sit back in their comfortable living rooms and protest "the war," claiming that our military shouldn't be overseas, GO SEE THIS MOVIE! Remember that our soldiers are actual people trying to do their jobs and protect our country. The motives and goals are much more complicated than protests that claim the fight is for oil.

One of the things I really enjoyed about "Act of Valor" was how the Seals talked. I get tired of over-the-top acting and rally speeches people shouldn't have time for when they're under fire. The way the Seals talked reminded me of how my brother talks when he describes stuff in his military jargon. Information is shared; instructions are given. No cries of "Kill them all!" and no speeches that remind you of a political candidate.  I'm glad I didn't check out the movie reviews before I went. They all criticize the acting as "flat." I guess after being exposed to "Rambo" movies and the constant overacting and exaggeration of reality television, watching soldiers skilfully do their jobs probably seems lackluster.

Watching "Act of Valor" may be our only chance to see the reality of being a Navy Seal. I don't know how my sister-in-law copes with being a military wife, letting her husband go and hoping he will return in six months. She's as much of a hero as my brother is. I remember how my brother once explained that his wife thinks of him as her "Air Force Ken doll," looking good in a uniform but not doing anything dangerous. I couldn't resist that comment and I managed to find an actual Air Force Ken to give her.  When a friend's son deployed to the most dangerous area of Afghanistan a year ago, I saw the anguish he went through. In the first two weeks in Afghanistan, his military unit had a dozen deaths and many injuries. They were unable to communicate regularly with their families, making the worry even more intense.

I share this because I see people protesting and using catchy slogans without having any personal connection. Until you have experience with the military, I don't think you can fully appreciate what they go through. War/combat is ugly and mistakes do happen. It has always been that way, but modern times have brought us more instant news coverage. We have to remember that the soldiers themselves are doing the best they can with the instructions they're given and the knowledge available at the moment. I am eternally grateful for the many sacrifices they're making on my behalf.